


the biggest what if

by helsinkibaby



Category: Star Trek: Discovery
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff, Het, Pillow Talk, Romance, So not canon compliant
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-26
Updated: 2019-05-26
Packaged: 2020-03-19 20:33:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,460
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18977854
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/helsinkibaby/pseuds/helsinkibaby
Summary: “You ever wonder what would have happened if we’d met elsewhere?”





	the biggest what if

**Author's Note:**

> Theme : free for all   
> Prompt: Any, any, wrong time, wrong place.  
> https://comment-fic.livejournal.com/1003136.html?thread=111058304#t111058304

“You ever wonder what would have happened if we’d met elsewhere?” 

Until Chris asked that question, Michael had been seconds away from drifting into a light doze, courtesy of the warmth of his body pressed against and around hers, his right arm around her shoulders, tracing gentle circles on the skin of her back. The question roused her though, had her tilting her head up and back so that she could meet his eyes, pupils huge and dark in the dim light of his quarters. Cocking her head to the side, she gave him an honest answer. 

“What ifs serve no logical purpose-” she began. She got no further though, which didn’t surprise her. She’d half expected him to interrupt her, to argue with her. It would hardly be the first time that their world views had led to a spirited debate between them - Tilly swore it was one of the reasons that Michael was attracted to him in the first place. “Because his eyes and his smile and his dimples and his ass couldn’t possibly be enough; no, he has to cerebrally entertain you as well!” she’d groaned, throwing her hands in the air as she’d done so. 

Michael hadn’t expected him to chuckle, to show off that smile and those dimples and remind her that Tilly had been right, they really should have been enough on their own. “Logic, of course.” His tone was dry, his left arm moving up theatrically to cover his eyes. “I forgot I was talking to a member of the House of Sarek.” 

Michael knew he was teasing her, lifted an eyebrow to tease him right back. “You’ve had a conversation like this with my brother?” 

He dropped his hand then, knowing exactly what she was getting at. She received a stern look in return but she knew him well enough to see the amusement glinting around the edges of his smile. “Not exactly like this.” His right hand moved from between her shoulder blades, tracing a slow path down her spine before giving her right hip a gentle pinch. It tickled slightly, made her squirm against him. Which he’d known would happen and she hid her smile in his chest. “But I am familiar with the point you were about to make.” 

His right hand resumed its idle tracing along her back while his left draped itself across her stomach. She closed her eyes, let herself get lost in the sensation, knowing what had caused the question. In forty-eight hours - maybe a little more, maybe a little less, she’d lost track of time in here with him - the Enterprise would be declared fit to resume her travels, which meant Chris would hand the reins of the Discovery back to Saru until Starfleet sent them a replacement Captain. 

There were several reasons why Michael wasn’t looking forward to that. 

Her location at the moment being a pretty major one. 

“If I’d been assigned to the Enterprise instead of the Shenzhou, you mean?” 

When she lifted her head, his eyes showed his surprise that she was actually entertaining the premise. “Before or after I made captain?” 

“Before, of course.” He narrowed his eyes; a question. She didn’t blink. “As Captain, you wouldn’t become intimate with an ensign or lieutenant... the power differential would be too great.” 

Chris pursed his lips, considering. “Even if I found her...” He paused, his fingers hovering around the small of her back, gently ghosting lower. “Compelling?” 

Michael knew what he was trying to do, made it easier for him by moving so that her body was even more closely pressed against his. “The appearance of impropriety would still be too great,” she told him. “As first officer, however, it would be... less so.” 

“Of course, it would also depend on you being amenable to a relationship... maybe you’d be too focussed on your Starfleet career to even look in my direction.” 

He was smiling again, dimples on full display. It was the kind of smile that she only saw when it was just the two of them, the smile that was uniquely Chris, rather than Captain Pike. “Oh, looking would not be a problem,” she assured him and he actually preened at that, there was no other word for his reaction. “However, since my brother would also be on board, anything other than that may have been an issue.” 

Chris closed his eyes, a strangled groan escaping him. “You really shouldn’t mention your brother when we’re in bed together. Certainly not twice.” 

“Be that as it may...” She rested her forearms on his chest, used them to prop herself up a little more. “Vulcan customs are quite clear. As my brother, he would expect you to come to him before any... overtures were made in my direction.” 

“Yeah.” Chris’s lips twisted and guilt twinged in Michael’s stomach. They hadn’t had a chance to have that conversation with Spock; the mystery of the signals and the fate of the universe taking precedence over their personal liaison. Once everything was over and the dust had settled, Spock had moved back to the Enterprise, helping to oversee the refit, while Chris had stayed on Discovery, overseeing their repairs. “We kinda screwed that one up.” 

“Not that it matters.” Michael tried to keep her voice matter of fact. Years of Vulcan training allowed her to mostly carry it off but she had a feeling Chris could see right through her. “Your place is on the Enterprise. Mine is here, on Discovery.” 

Chris nodded. “And all the what ifs in the world won’t change that,” he acknowledged. He paused then, cupped her cheek with his left hand. His thumb swept up and down her cheekbone, sending shivers up and down her spine. “Even if I wish they would.” 

Michael drew in a deep breath, her left hand mirroring his movement. “Despite my Vulcan upbringing, I’ve had many what ifs,” she admitted quietly, her mind’s eye seeing Philippa dead by T’kuvma’s hand, Lorca holding out a fortune cookie, Ash walking away from her. She pushed those memories away, easy to do when her eyes locked with his. “But this... this is the biggest.” 

Their gazes held for a long moment then both moved at the same time, their lips meeting as surely as if drawn together by a magnet. The kiss was soft and slow, leisurely, like they had all the time in the world, even if they had anything but. 

She was the one who drew back first, resting her forehead against his as she tried to get her breath back. “I should go,” she whispered, because it was probably late and they both had to be on the bridge in a few short hours. 

He shook his head, wrapped his arms more tightly around her. “Stay.” 

Michael paused. For as long as this had been going on, that was something they had never done. They’d kept up appearances, hidden what they were from everyone, save Tilly who’d figured it out when Michael kept returning to their quarters in the middle of the night. In the beginning, she’d understood why Michael did it. More recently, she’d been mystified. “He’s not here for that much longer,” she’d reminded Michael only a couple of days ago. “And while I’m pretty hot stuff...” Her lips had quirked up, her eyes dancing as she’d leaned in to Michael’s personal space. “Why in the world are you sleeping alone in a single bunk when you could be curled up with Captain Awesome?” 

Chris must have considered her silence to be a refusal because he closed his eyes and nodded. “Okay,” he breathed. “At least let me kiss you goodbye...” 

His hand moved to the back of her head, intending to bring their lips together again. He frowned in some surprise when Michael didn’t allow herself to be moved. “I doubt Tilly is waiting up for me,” she said. “And this bed is far more comfortable than mine...”

The smile that crossed his lips was the best thing she’d seen in months. “The perks of command,” he said, both hands sliding down her back. “Which I have no problems sharing with you.” 

Michael pretended to look impressed. “Why, Captain, how generous of you.” 

Chris narrowed his eyes then moved quickly, flipping them so that she was on her back staring up at him before she realised what he was doing. It surprised a laugh out of her, even as he pressed his lips to her neck. “Why don’t I show you how generous I can be?” he asked, his lips moving slowly down her body. 

Suddenly, Michael thought, staying seemed like a very good idea. 

And later, when she couldn’t think at all, it seemed like an even better one.


End file.
